He came, He saw…I shaved!


Before I begin, I would like to thank my good friend Kunal Borah – The Kaleidoscopic Kanvas for tagging me and pushing me to write this post. He is someone whom I can genuinely call my Blogging Friend because I have never met him but we seem to somehow tag each other in our blogs!

So here’s my story………………………………….

I was passing by the room named TREATMENT ROOM in the hospital when I saw an intern bent over a patient. It was the surgery wing of the hospital, my favourite subject and I couldn’t help but peep in through the half open door of the room to get a better view. What I found very curious and rather disturbing was that the intern was bent over a patient’s mid section with his back turned towards me. As I got closer I could hear a sort of scraping sound. He heard me approach and turned to me, gave me a disinterested look and got back to his work. “What are you doing?” I asked timidly. “What does it look like I’m doing.” he said seriously. I couldn’t exactly tell him what I was thinking, Could I? “I’m preparing the patient for surgery by shaving his parts” he said rather rudely. It was then that I saw him using a razor to shave off the patients genital areas. “You have to shave the parts too?” I asked bewildered. “Of course dude…. We have to prepare the patient from shaving parts to pre op medications and everything “ he said. “And aren’t you late for your classes? ” he added grumpily clearly not very happy with my questions.

I was a 2nd year medical student back then. Up until the 1st year we had to only sit in classrooms without having to venture into the wards and talk to patients. Now that I was in the 2nd year we had the experience to interact with the patients. It was the time when we actually felt like doctors and we would be curious about anything and everything in the hospital. And here I was ,watching an intern prepare a patient for a hydrocele surgery, dreading having to do the same work 3 years later.

I decided to head back to the wards as the intern didn’t seem to be too interested in telling me about the surgery. At least he wasn’t doing what I thought he was doing. As I was going to attend the clinics, I shivered thinking about today’s class which was to be conducted by the Head Of the Department of the medicine department. To say that he was a strict disciplinarian would be an understatement.

I joined my batch mates around one of the patient’s bed. I looked around. There were 3 of my batch mates, 4 second years, 4 final years and 3 interns. So it was a party of 15 people. We were expected to take the case and present it to the HOD. I was always fascinated by surgery rather than medicine and so honestly I didn’t know what exactly today’s case discussion was about. After about 10 minutes, an aging man, with a shiny bald pate except for greying hair around his ears, gold rimmed glasses and dressed impeccably in a blue shirt, black trousers, dark blue tie and shiny black shoes made his way towards us. All of us froze, he was one of those who could make you feel you have done something wrong even if you hadn’t. We all wished him a loud good morning. He acknowledged us with a nod and stood in front of us.

There were 4 boys and the rest were all girls in our group. He looked at the 1st one and said “Have you come for a class or sports meet? Have you ever polished your shoes in your life? Is this the way you come to the wards? Ill give you 5 minutes, just 5. Polish them and come or else you’ll be marked absent for a month” The boy ran away. I looked down at my shoes and smiled inwardly looking at my shiny, freshly polished shoes. If he wanted, he could see his face in them.

His eyes then fell on the boy next to me and said “ Even our ward boy wears cleaner clothes than you, look at your apron, looks like you are a manual labourer, not a future doctor. Come back with a different apron in 5 minutes.” I knew my apron would be as white as the TIDE ad since mom looked after my laundry.

He next looked at me. I was waiting for him to praise my apron and my shoes. But rather his face became even more serious. I was wondering when he would look at my apron and shoes but his eyes never left my face. “You are a doctor” he said in a deep baritone stating the obvious. “You expect patients to come to you when you look like this?” I was wondering where this was going. “Back when I was a medical student if I came unshaven, our HOD would give us 2 rupees and ask us to shave.” That’s when I realised that I had totally forgotten about my weekend stubble. He just hated anyone who came to the hospital without a shave. According to him, it not only showed a person’s shabbiness, it also implied that they were lazy and he hated both of those. He then handed me a 5 rupee note and said “Buy a blade and shave and come in 10 minutes. If not you are kicked out for the next one month

My mind was racing.I wouldn’t mind shaving and coming but to do it in 10 minutes was a joke. To reach the ground floor from the 5th floor of the hospital itself would take 5 minutes considering the crowded lifts! And what the hell was I supposed to do with a 5 rupee note?!! Forget a shave, getting a blade for 5 bucks would be a wonder. It was a gesture probably done to just add to the insult. I did the next best thing I could think of. I ran to the surgery TREATMENT ROOM and found the intern leaving.

Can I urgently borrow the razor” I asked hurriedly
He looked up at me with an eyebrow raised “Why , students are not allowed to prepare patients
No, its for me.” I said and explained to him what had just happened in the wards.
Are you out of your mind? Do you know the places that razor has been to? Its used to shave arm pits, private parts and even buttock areas?” he exclaimed.
Ill change the blade,dip the razor in cidex and then use it” I said even though I didn’t like the idea at all!
He snickered. He seemed to like the idea just to go back and narrate the story to his friends in the hostel.
I went into the room, picked the razor, removed the blade, dipped it in Cidex, and found a new blade. I gulped and picked up the razor and began shaving myself without thinking about all the places the razor must’ve been to. I double checked to see that I hadn’t missed a spot. After that I attended class which was incident free.

It was my only shave related experience to date! And no, I still haven’t gotten any infection on my face and I’m always clean shaven even now when I’m a staff in the hospital!

This post is a part of #WillYouShave activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette

Authors Note: I thank BlogAdda for motivating to post a blog on this topic along with Kunal Borah

                         I nominate the following bloggers to take up the challenge-

1. Farida Rizwan

2. iamharnad.tumblr.com

3. nowweshallread.blogspot.in

 

Love Thy Father!


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Image Courtesy - http://cappuccinoqueen.com/?attachment_id=797

Image Courtesy – http://cappuccinoqueen.com

He sat there on his wheelchair all by himself, so frail and lonely. He looked at the calendar for the umpteenth time to make really sure of the date. It was 2nd December indeed. It only seemed to make him more depressed. Back in the day, he was a jovial and friendly guy, a loving husband and father who would go to any lengths to keep his family happy. But time hadn’t been so kind to him. At 55 years of age his muscular legs of yesteryear seemed to have lost their strength and he now needed a wheelchair to carry him around.

He watched her enter the living room and walk around without a care in the world. He adjusted his black rimmed large spectacles to get a better look at her. At 22 she could afford to strut around with that devil may care attitude. He saw her look at him and turn away without a greeting as if he didn’t even exist. He closed his eyes unable to bear the pain. He ran his hand through his receding hairline which also plucked out a few of the remaining strands. What was it that had driven them apart?

He remembered the day she was born and how his world had changed in an instant. Carrying her for the first time made him feel like he had been blessed for some great deed he had done in his previous life. He remembered those sleepless nights where he would carry her in his arms until dawn humming every tune he knew & somehow putting her to sleep.

He could still picture her 1st day at school where she just refused to let go off his hand, her teary eyes pleading him to stay without saying a word. “Ill be right outside” he had promised her and sat the entire day in the veranda where she could see him. From then on dropping & picking her from school had become a ritual which lasted right until she finished her schooling. She would fling herself on him, the moment he would arrive from work and ask him to solve all her math problems. Once the homework was done, he would lift her on his shoulders & they both would do a victory dance together which would roll in a fit of laughter. He would then put her to sleep by reciting stories most of which were made up but she loved them all nonetheless. He was her hero and she was his world.

He didn’t know when things changed.What was it that had driven her away from him. She seemed so distant now. He sometimes felt like she was ashamed to be seen around him now.

He saw her friends arrive one by one. Soon there were about 15 of them but not one them acknowledged him. Looked like they were having some kind of a party in his house without informing him. But he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind anything she did. He loved her so much. He rolled the wheelchair into the next room.

Where are you going papa?” She asked gently.
To the next room, so that you youngsters can enjoy” He said with a fake smile.
But we youngsters have gathered for you papa” She smiled.
He looked confused not knowing what she was saying.
Happy birthday papa” She said with a big smile on her face
SURPRISE UNCLE!!!” Her friends screamed in unison
His eyes grew moist. He couldn’t speak.
I…I…I don’t know that to say beta, THANK YOU! ” He managed to say somehow
You thought I forgot, didn’t you? How can I forget the 2nd of December, the birthday of the best dad in the whole wild world, I love you Papa” she said and hugged him tight.
I love you too beta” he said and began sobbing in her embrace

Author’s Note : Its not just enough to say you love your parents. Sometimes you need to show them the love too.

Food For Thought!


Courtesy: Google Images

I had read about BlogAdda’s wonderful initiative Blog To Feed A Child in association with Akshaya Patra probably on the very day it was launched. Honestly speaking, I didn’t bother to get into the details of it because I thought that not only would I be too pre-occupied with my personal stuff to contribute a blog post this month but also because of my ignorance (no harm admitting the truth). It was only when Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan tagged me in his post on his blog – GODYEARS & educated me about the whole issue and also showed me how much a single post of mine would contribute did I realise my mistake & decided to contribute. He told me that for every post that I contributed on the issue, BlogAdda would make a donation to the Mid Day Meals scheme which is absolutely fantastic. I also get to choose a few of my blogging friends to do the same whose names Ill reveal at the end of this post . So this post is entirely due to Dr Roshan. I suggest you read his post on the issue to get a better understanding of the entire issue (Click here)

It’s a sort of co-incidence that on the very day that I planned to start writing this post, we got a male patient in the ward. His wife came up to me and asked me “When can you discharge him?” I said “What is the hurry, he still has a long way to go to fully recover. That’s when she told me “No sir, the problem is that I am a cook at a school for the mid day meals. I have been given leave for just 15 days. Other than me there’s just another cook & a total 233 children to feed and hence I can’t stay for long in the hospital with him.”

When we talk of education in our country, we can always think of so many hurdles. Poor infrastructure, distant schools with no transport facilities, belief that the girl child has no right to education, non availability of teachers in rural schools. Even Chetan Bhagat in his latest book ‘Half Girlfriend’ highlighted a major issue of lack of toilets in schools. What if all these were miraculously provided. Would there be 100% attendance in the classrooms? Yes there would be in most schools in our cities. But there is a major issue called “Classroom Hunger” which many of us aren’t aware of or don’t seem to take too seriously. No, this is not the hunger for knowledge in schools. Its far from it!

Back when I was in school (especially upto class 7) I remember that the first thing I did after getting into my school uniform of khaki shorts & white shirt in the morning, was to ask mom for my tiffin box. Then with my school bag(which was extremely heavy) round both shoulders, water bottle around my neck & tiffin carrier around my right shoulder I would head to school all so excited(sometimes dreading the day’s kannada class). At around 12:30 PM every afternoon we would all be waiting in class for the “Lunch bell” which went ‘ting ting, ting ting, ting ting’ which was different from the rest of the ‘tings’ throughout the day. Even before the teacher got out of class we would open our tiffin boxes & look excitedly as to what was packed for the day! Ofcourse I would be sitting with my best friend so like everyone else I too would make it a point to check what he(mine was an all boys school & hence only the HE) was carrying for lunch as well. And in case we liked each others lunch better, we would readily share and sometimes even exchange!

Now after all those years at work, during lunch time when the stomach starts growling, I search for my colleagues to head out for a hearty meal. And there we take great pains to decide what we want to order for the day. Most of the time we make it a point not to order the same dish that we had the previous day. The day without lunch(which tends to happen a lot in our profession) turns your world upside down. Imagine that happening to kids aged below 10 years everyday in school! Attending schools is a hard task in itself for most but having to do it on an empty stomach can be killing. And yet we expect our country to be 100% literate. There are 2 aspects to this. As you know most of the time the reason given by the parents who don’t send their children to school is “how will we feed them if they don’t work along with us.” The second one being that even if they send a hungry child to school who cannot concentrate in class & thinks of only food then what good would it do to the parents, the child or the system?

This is where some NGO’s like the Akshaya Patra are a boon. I wasn’t aware of this NGO till I actually did some research for this post. I always believed that the government themselves took care of the mid day meals programme especially since there were so many reports in the newspapers of bad food being served to the children. That an NGO actually existed for the sole purpose of helping out in the mid day meals programmes in schools & that too since the year 2000 was news to me! If only we could also help them, we would not only make their jobs easier but also help those kids in school achieve something worthwhile in life!

So how can we help? No I’m not going to preach on what should be done because I don’t think I have the right to tell others what to do when I myself haven’t yet done anything for the cause. What I can do is just think of ways in which we all can be of some help.

1. It’s very easy to preach about donating money. But lets be honest, most of us find it very difficult to do so. So why not donate money based only on your lavish spending? Every time we go out with friends & spend money be it on food, drink or just to have a good time, lets make a note of that & set aside a small amount to donate for every unnecessary expenditure which at the end of the year can be handed over to a mid day meal programme. Not only will we be helping out the children but we’ll also realise how much of money we waste!

2. During weddings so much of food is ordered & so much of it is wasted. So every time there’s a big function at home why don’t set aside some money for a mid day meal programme. Better yet sponsor a meal for a school for a week. Let your relatives & friends know about it so that the others know that you’ve done a noble thing & encourage them to do the same.

3. A few years back I had seen NDTV’s initiative of “Light up a village” which involved encouraging donations towards providing electricity to villages with no facilities. The programme received a tremendous feedback with celebrities pitching in too. A similar initiative would really boost the mid day meal programme

4. Somehow see that the donations given reach the schools rather than the plates of a few politicians. This is probably the hardest part!

5. Blog! Yes just like me , post a blog on the issue & Blogadda will donate on behalf of your blog post! You will atleast feel that you’ve done something worthwhile.

6. Blogging may not be a great thing. If you want to make a real difference you can visit Akshaya Patra’s website (Click here) and make a donation.

Now I have the pleasure of nominating a few of my blogging friends to contribute a post and hence help out in the “Blog To Feed A Child” Initiative. And I choose

1. Mr Kunal Borah
2. Miss Ankita Singhal
3. Dr Vibina Narayanan
4. Mrs Farida Rizwan

I request you to provide a link to your posts in the comments section here so that others can read them.

Do watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=G1DfmguKVHE

Author’s note:


What’s Scaring the Ghosts This Halloween?


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The Annual Ghost Convention (AGC) was held every year a day after Halloween, that is November 1st. The main purpose of the day was to bring together all the like minded ghosts & review the year gone by. It was also a time to bond, refresh and discuss new strategies in the world of Ghosto-Sapiens. The meeting was attended every year by a large gathering of ghosts, some of whom were famous enough to be called celebrities with top grossing movies to their credit & some whom were still make a mark in the business . The usual list of the so called celebrities were all in attendance today that included Casper the friendly ghost, Chucky who had a recent blockbuster, Bloody Bones the Bogeyman, Mr Boogedy, Wendy & Sabrina the witches, Anabelle, Hotstuff the tiny red devil, Slimer from the Ghostbusters,Jack the ripper, Spooky the tough little ghost, Timmy the timid ghost and the ghostly trio of Stretch, Fatso & Stinkie etc etc. There were also the lesser known ghosts who worked in the shadows like the Mohini in her white saree, Ram Gopal Varma’s heroines and Miley Cyrus on a Wrecking ball.

This years President of the AGC was none other than Chucky. After his movie release last year he was unanimously chosen as the successor to Sabrina as the new President. The gigantic banquet hall was adorned with portraits of the famous ghosts on the walls. Right at the centre of the hall was a throne elevated so that it could be seen by all present. Chucky quietly took centre stage & he didn’t look happy at all. The buzzing crowd of ghosts suddenly grew quiet as they saw the ever ominous look on Chuckys face. Fatso gobbled up an ice cream Hotstuff was holding.

Chucky spoke in a grave tone.

“My dear friends. As you can all see, I am not very happy today. Actually I am never happy but today I’m ashamed to say that for the 1st time my unhappiness stems from the fact that last night I was scared to death by a family of humans.”

The entire audience gasped in shock. Timmy the timid ghost smiled. Its something he had been trying to explain to everyone for years.

Chucky continued.

“We have all been in the scaring business since times immemorial. And all of you know that its bloody exciting & thrilling to scare the living daylights out of these humans. Humans are stupid, they’ve always been so. They are scared of us and yet they make movies about us & scare themselves even when we aren’t around.”

Slimer chuckled, Bloody Bones glared at him with his bloodshot eyes.

“But last night I realised that things have changed drastically! I think the humans are developing mechanisms to counter us. Since it was Halloween night & all the humans were into the business of scaring each other dressing up like us which in itself is an insult to us, I thought I would take this opportunity to teach them a lesson. So I visited this nice looking family of stupid humans. As you all know, the father of the family is the toughest to scare & fathers have always been a curse to most ghosts in the past. As I am not the one to give up on a challenge, I went straight for the head of the human family because once the head is claimed, the rest of the family becomes a cake walk. I waited in the family bedroom in the corner with the lights switched off in the shadows with chicken blood smeared on my face & my knife in my hand. I saw him enter the room stealthily & fling his bag on the bed. Without switching on the lights he began removing his socks. Just when I was about to make a strike I was startled when I saw him coming towards me. I was confused for a moment wondering if at all he had seen me. And if he had, why was he coming towards me, rather than running away. He came right in front of me, suddenly turned his backside towards me & let out a huge burst of air with earth shattering noise. I thought my ears would explode ! But if you think that that was bad, the worst was yet to come. Within seconds the room filled up with a stench so strong that I felt I would die….and I am already a ghost right?!!!! * Stinkie looked around sheepishly * Gasping for fresh air I stumbled out of the room & somehow made it. I really thought that I would die again & become a human.

After the failed experiment, I was even more determined in my mission now. I decided to forget the dad & saw the mom busy watching TV. From the expression on her face she looked angry. I guessed that she must be watching some disturbing news on TV like the rape of a child that these humans seemed to be doing so often these days. What these humans don’t know is they should be scared of each other more than they are scared of us. I knew this was my chance & so with a scream I darted towards her with my dagger. To my utter shock just when I was beside her, she let out an angry scream herself & without even looking at me, grabbed me & flung me onto the TV! My head hit the TV hard & I literally saw stars! I was shell shocked!, I mean what the hell was going on! I was still trying to recover from what actually happened. That’s when I heard her screaming at the TV “Arnav, you deserved that punishment for hurting Kushi” . I looked at the TV still dazed. The top right hand corner said “Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon. That’s when I realised that she hadn’t even noticed me. She was more bothered about her daily soap!

With both my head & ego hurt I decided to leave the parents alone & target the children. I knew they had a teenaged daughter & son. Girls are always easy victims, so to be safe I decided to scare her feeling somewhat confident. I climbed upstairs & entered her room. She was in front of her dressing mirror. That’s when I decided to use the classic ghost trick of appearing behind her through the reflection in the mirror. So I took position just behind & to her right and I could see myself in her mirror. I put on the best evil grin I had & raised my knife. She was in front of the mirror engrossed in her phone. Suddenly she looked up, held her phone at an arms length & began pouting & clicking pictures of herself. She once held the phone towards the mirror & then away from the mirror. Its something the humans call selfies. I waited & waited but she just wouldn’t stop. Whoever said that ghosts cannot be captured in a photograph was not kidding because she didn’t see me in the pictures. Frankly speaking, even if she did I don’t think she would’ve noticed me because she was too busy adjusting her hair, her lipstick, her pout after every click. Each expression of hers seemed scarier than the previous one to me. After half an hour I lost my patience & my arm hurt holding the knife so I quietly left the room.

This was it. My only hope was now to scare their fifteen year old son. I had had enough of these games. No more hiding in the dark, no more using ghost tricks. I am a ghost and that’s scary enough. I decided that I’ll do it the old fashioned way. So I just opened his door & barged in & stood right in front of him with my evil look & knife pointing towards him. He just stared at me with a blank look. He looked more a ghost than me. With his tattoos, long hair, guitar in hand & smoke in the background. What was going on I wondered. He took a cigarette & inhaled & exhaled right on my face. I began coughing even though I had no lungs! There was some green stuff around in packets which humans call weed. Probably its their new Ghost Buster.I banged my head on the wall in frustration. He picked up his guitar and began head banging of his own. I left the house & vowed never to return again.

The entire audience was silent. The ghosts looked as if they had just seen a ghost. Fatso seemed to have lost his apetite for 5 minutes at least. Timmy seemed even more timid. Spooky didnt seem so tough anymore. Casper shook his head not wanting to say anything. The rest of them just ate in silence. Ghosts were indeed scared of the humans

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

PRIVATE INDIA – Book Review


IMG_20141006_185952Title : Private India
Author: Ashwin Sanghi & James Patterson
Publisher: Arrow Books
Pages : 470
Genre: Thriller
Release date: 2014
Review for : BlogAdda.com

About the Authors:
Ashwin Sanghi is a popular Indian fiction writer with 3 previous bestsellers – The Rozabal Line, Chanakya’s Chant & The Krishna Key.
James Patterson has written some of the popular series like The Alex Cross, Women’s Murder Club & Detective Michael Bennett novels.
This novel is infact a part of his PRIVATE series where he collaborates with different writers from different countries
What is the story about?
The first impression that you get on reading the title PRIVATE INDIA is that its probably a story about the stock & bulls & bears but it actually is about PRIVATE INDIA, the Mumbai branch of the world famous International Investigation agency headed by Jack Morgan. The story is about how Private India is involved in solving a series of murders happening all over Mumbai & ending up getting more than what they bargained for.
The thrills & spills…..
So Private India as mentioned above is a an investigation agency based in Mumbai, which is an International brand headed by Jack Morgan. The Mumbai branch of the agency is headed by Santosh Wagh & his team of Nisha, Mubeen & Hari.

The story begins in the backdrop of the Mumbai serial blasts of 1993(Which I felt was brought into the story for no apparent reason) where a serial killer is on the prowl & is targeting seemingly unsuspecting & unconnected individuals. The murders themselves aren’t straight forward with every murder being a part of a larger puzzle being planned by the devious mind of the killer. With each murder the killer leaves a fresh set of clues for PRIVATE INDIA to find & that’s how the story unfolds with each clue pointing fingers at different suspect at different times.
For some reason the character of Santosh Wagh reminded me of Dr Gregory House from House MD. He is a grumpy aging ex military guy who wields a walking stick but seems to be extremely good at what he does. His team of Nisha Gandhe, Mubeen Yusuf & Hari Padhi are all experts in their respective fields.The story has everything. In fact it has so many components included that you can probably write 2 or 3 stories based on each of them! If one chapter is entirely dedicated to a steamy sex session between two of the major characters, the other one is based on NIMBOO BABA, who reminds you of the notorious baba in Singham! The story keeps shifting from a local gunda to cricket spot fixing (A little far fetched) to filmfare awards to a cult (which seems to be a standard for most Indian fiction thriller writers these days.
The story moves at a fast pace with short & crisp chapters which sometimes are so short that its tough to keep up with the timeline of the story.The description of the location of the office of PRIVATE INDIA was hilarious! I felt that there were too many elements included almost to please the readers with different interests. Also the emotions of the main characters was a big BIG let down. You hardly get to know them & at the end of the story you’ll probably never remember a Santosh Wagh or Nisha or for that matter ANYBODY in the story! The climax was intriguing especially to know who the killer was & the way the murders were connected & the reasoning behind the murders & the choice of victims was quite good.
All in all PRIVATE INDIA is an “ok” read. You can probably add it to your wish list & read it when you are waiting for something better to come out.

Score- 5.5/10

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This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers

A HAIR Raising Night


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The year was 1979. It was the year where India’s biggest movie awards ,the “GILLETTE FILMFAIR AWARDS” (not to be confused with the other less famous one) awards were to be hosted. It will also be remembered as the year of ‘hair raising’ experiences.

As is customary with the awards, they are usually hosted by two of the biggest stars of the time & this year was no different! The mantle of hosting the mother of all award shows was taken up by two superstars  of the time, Amitabh Bacchan & Rajesh Khanna. Amitabh was the angry young man ofcourse & he began the show hurling abuses at the directors of all the movies that bombed that year. Somehow he seemed to take it very personally. As always, he felt that such movies were an insult to the paying junta. He then abused the audience for laughing when he was making such a serious statement. Nobody knew if he was still in character or truly angry. That was the power of the man! Just when it looked like things were going to get out of hand his co-host came in singing ‘mere sapnon ki Rani’ on a horse. Yes! It was none other than our very own Rajesh Khanna(may his soul RIP). He knew how to make an entry. Amitji shook his head in disgust. Rajesh Khanna immediately got onto the stage & tried to calm him down with “baabbuumushai just chill chill, Havell’s  ka panka hai na.” And it magically worked! The audience didn’t laugh because that joke was 30 years too early

They began the show & all the audience was mesmerized to see their chemistry on stage. Alas! Their eyes fell onto their shirts from which their chest hair was popping out from the top. Now everytime they spoke it was as though the hair had a life of its own!. It swayed to the right when they moved left & it swayed to the left when they moved right. And it swayed all around when they were standing still! When Amitji was announcing the guests to announce the awards for the best Newcomer Male, Mithun Chakraborthy sitting in the audience felt “I wish he had opted for his hair removal”  But it was too late.

It was now time for the item number to be performed. When Rajesh Khanna announced that none other than sexy Helen would dance to a remix of all the item numbers of that year, the audience were on the edge of their seats. Amjad Khan didn’t seem to care, after all Basanti had already danced for him inspite of Veeru not willing! Helen began with the 1st slow number. Soon the audience began screaming “Monica , Monica” and as if on cue, the song was played. Helen removed her detachable pants & revealed her sexy legs in a mini skirt. But Alas! Her legs weren’t shaved! To this day the audience present there don’t know if she had forgotten or just didn’t bother! The legs that were supposed to look sexy now just seemed like two amazon jungles! Rekha sitting in the audience sighed to herself “I wish she had opted for her hair removal”. The only person who didn’t seem to mind at all was Shakthi Kapoor.

The night went on, the stars came and went. Vinod Khanna, Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bachchan, Mumtaz, Jeethuji, Rishi Kapoor. Some to collect awards & some to give. A young Rameez Raja sitting in the audience was impressed by all the ‘telented’ actors. He thanked BAL Thackeray sitting next to him & said “Thank you for giving me an opportunity to be hair(here) & represent the cricketing community of Pakistan”. Somewhere there a young Shah Rukh Khan was telling his little friends” I will become the best some day & host the show cracking vulgar hair jokes” Anil Kapoor was sitting in the audience with his top button open & the entire audience was thinking “I wish he had opted for his hair removal

The night was drawing to a close & it was time to a close & the final show was a romantic dance between Dharmendra & Zeenath Aman. A superman of the times & and the other a sultry siren.Both of them were mesmerizing the audience. He with his incredible machoness & she with her grace & oomph(a popular word back in the 1970’s) As she was dancing close to him she saw him smile, not that magnetic smile of his but a sad one.She wondered what could be wrong in his personal life/ Unfortunately her eyes fell on his tummy hair protruding out through his center button. It was long & curly & seemed to call to her. She could feel it say “Basanthi , in kutthon ke saamne math naachna “ She immediately cringed & thought to herself ‘I wish he had opted for his hair removal’. What she didn’t realise was that he was smiling coz he had seen her armpit hair & the camera close to it & he was thinking “I wish she had opted for her hair removal” coz all that hair was blocking his face from the camera.

The show ended with the two hosts thanking the main sponsores GILLETTE. The CEO of Gillette came forward & thanked all the stars & audience & told them that after watching the show he was inspired to bring a brand new product into the market. He didn’t tell them what it was & they wondered what it could be…. Luckily we know what he was talking about.

DISCLAIMER- This post is a work of fiction. All the characters mentioned here are fictional. The author does not mean to hurt anybodys sentiments as everything is written to be read in good humor

 This post is a part of the Gillette Satin Care Contest in association with BlogAdda.com

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More than just a phone!


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It was back in the year 2000 when I had my 1st tryst with internet. Back then “cyber centres” as we used to call them were a rage. There seemed to be one on every corner of the street & a money spinning machine. Students used to waste their pocket money mostly over nothing!I remember that there were 2 categories actually…an hour of games used to cost 40 bucks & an hour of internet used to cost 55 bucks. Whether you chose internet or games, the aim was to make use of every  minute of the hour so that it was total paisa vasool coz otherwise it would seem like a huge waste of money (which in any case it actually was)!

Cut to 2012…. How things have changed. Those very cyber centres seem to have disappeared into oblivion! Coz now who needs bulky computers  when  the world is at ones finger tips. Yes ! mobile phones, those tiny things which were once considered to be used to only to call or msg people is used for everything except to call people & maybe as toilet paper!

Nobody needs an introduction as to what one can do with internet. By bringing the net within the grip of the palm, it  has opened up innumerable, previously unimaginable avenues! Today I use the phone for everything other than calling people!

Music!

Gone are the days when you used to here that catchy number on MTV & wait for an eternity in front of the tv to hear that song again! These days all you have to do is type the song out on your phone browser & choose from the 100s of options available on how you want to hear it! Why type??? Infact just keep your phone near the speaker when a tune is playing, turn on ‘shazaam’ & let the li’l brain inside the phone search the song, give you all the details which you wouldn’t get even in any magazine & also watch the video!!! Also tag it, share it friends, find the lyrics, practise the song with the karaoke feature, learn how to play it on the guitar using the chords feature on the net. Whew! The only thing remaining is to meet the music director & thank him which you may also be able to do if you win the online contest 😀

Lost & found?

The other I was travelling with my wife & friends to a resort at around midnight & as expected we got lost. Our wives kept telling us to stop the car & ask someone for directions. Bah!  You can imagine what it did to our huge egos. So what does my friend do? He whips out his galaxy note, goes to google maps & voila! Gets the exact route! The ladies aren’t impressed & they persist on us asking for directions, but our relief the phone took us to our destination safely! What an ego boost that was 😀

News!

Being a PG, one doesn’t exactly get time to sit & read the newspaper at leisure. Infact most of the time one just gets to brush through the headlines from the sports & local news. Well not anymore. you can read all the news around the world & at ones own time without even the hassle of carrying a newspaper around! Whats more you can even comment & discuss it with total strangers! What fun is politics or sport if you cant put down someone else’s team.And mind you it comes with the entire package of weather information too.

Games

Your waiting at the doctors clinic(I like that example), your waiting for your date to show up or your plain frustrated with the world. These days you don’t need to sit idly watching other peoples faces stupidly  or they yours, wondering what the hell can I do to distract myself. You can kill aliens or beat Schumacher all on your phone. Use the net & you can even play live with total strangers whom you would never meet in life. Also it would save your relationship coz you wont complain about your date being late always!

Facebook!

Gone are the days when you only SMSed your friends. SMSing was once considered cool, well not anymore… today you have Watsapp, Facebook on the go, on the phone. You don’t need to wait to reach home to see the likes on your pics or your friendship requests. You can do it on your phone any day & anytime. Just beware of those serial status updaters through phones,they’ll update every minute detail of their life which will probably make you puke, you can block them anyways ;-D

Exams!

Remember Munnabhai MBBS? How he wasted so much of talk time on calls while copying during exams? Now you don’t need to! Got a smartphone with internet? Just type in what you want & use it to write beautiful, textbook answers in your answer sheet. After all nobody here said that only good things about the internet should be written 😉

www.vodafone.in/fun