User No. 1 -The perpetual status updater.
Ok we get it. You have lots on your mind. But that doesn’t mean that you have to let everyone know every damn lousy thought of yours EVERY HALF AN HOUR! “Im going shopping” – “Im so excited sitting in the car to go shopping”- “Listening to the radio in the car on the way to shopping” -“Im almost there, I can feel goosebumps” .SOMEBODY PLEASE THROW HER OUT OF THAT MOVING CAR!!!!! And also get me her phone when you’re at that. It doesn’t help the fact that there is that one guy who’ll be replying to each of those status msgs which is more probably even more annoying.
User No. 2 – The Drawing Room Farmer
Probably the most annoying one. Too lazy to get their asses of their couch to even stretch but ever the most hardworking farmer. Nobody would mind if they kept their farms to themselves. It’s the 130 notifications of “Feed my chicken, Wash my cow, build me a barn” that makes you wanna throw a goat at them which in all probability they would like & send you another wave of notifications asking for more. Go out into the sun & do some REAL gardening people!!!! And when you do, please spare us the updates.
User No. 3 – The FDA ( Facebook Display Of Affection)
“I love you honey bun, I love you too chilli cheese sandwich, you make my heart go Shalala boom boom”…. Somebody please hand me a gun so that I could go BOOM BOOM!! Yes everyone wants to show their love to someone on FTO( FB, Twitter, orkut) but not every hour & not on others news feeds. There are something called cellphones for that people!!! That small thing used to speak to people. Or mails, or Messages! What are you trying to achieve by showing your love on FB which in all probability is seen by everyone except your loved one!
User No. 4 – The Friender
Pardon the use of a non existent word but its that annoying person who “wants to be your friend”. You have no idea who or what he is but he insists that you could be his new best friend! And its not just the girls who are haunted by these creepy guys!!! Guys are stalked too! Ignoring them probably tells them that your interested in them. Till that fateful day when you report them.
User No. 5 – The join my page/group/cause
Somebody is just so bored that he decides to create a page/community/group of something that they like & thinks that its imperative that you like the same thing! And after a 100 mails asking you to join the group you’d probably start hating the ‘cause’ even if it’s a good one. Nobody wants to take the trouble of actually doing something for the cause, we just have to join to show our “support” . Two months later you visit the same group you’d find it abandoned filled with dubious links!
This is the “I broke up with my ex so its time for me to humiliate him/her on my wall” User. And then begins a barrage of hints, taunts, insults, jokes on that poor ex. Doesn’t matter whether the ex is good or bad, 200 people will convince this user that he/she was right in dumping him/her though they have no idea about whats going on. Yes this user is stupid & annoying but so are the ones who pretend to ”publicly” advice them when in reality they don’t care & are infact secretly enjoying the public washing of linen so to say. Why watch reel life soaps when you can get real ones ones on FB!