The Confused Phase
I wanted to blog, I thought I had loads of ideas & that thousands of people would flock their computers just to catch a glimpse of what I wrote so I started a blog after a lot of research. And that research mainly focused on whether I choose WordPress or the one that sounds like Clogger. Once I decided to use WordPress(for no particular reason back then) I was all excited. I created the profile with my very own name in the top bar! Ah! My name! My ego was on cloud 9. Went to “New Post” & realized that I was not good enough to blog! So I did the easiest thing that I could think of. I went to Youtube & uploaded the “Nikes 1st cricket commercial” video. Then the wait began. I began checking everyday. On the 3rd day or so the page visits went from 0 to 1. Wooooohooo I had my 1st visitor! Thank God to that one soul who finally came & saw it. I tried to find a way to track him down & mail him an official thank you letter but that ofcourse was’nt possible.
The Blog Phase
Every blogger worth his salt will tell you that the “visitors” & the “comments” on his blog excite him! Now that I knew that there was atleast this one guy out there I began a barrage of posts… Within 3 days I posted few videos, an article on torrents & what not. The next 2 months seemed to be so so so dead! Nobody came! I mean nobody! Not even that 1st guy! I knew I should’ve chosen Flogger over WordPress…or was it Clogger… I don’t know but Im sure more than 1 visitor would’ve come on Slogger.
The Damage Control Phase
Now I was certain that if this blog had to serve any purpose I gotta stop waiting & do something. I started posting a steady stream of articles, some good & some pathetic. And I did something extra. I joined facebook. So I began posting the articles on my wall (Ofcourse WordPress didn’t have the auto share with facebook like they do now) The poor guys on the my friends were fooled into visiting my blog & slowly the visitors increased, not by much. Maybe 10 or so which was definitely more than the 1 which I was happy with on the 1st day. Monthly visitors increased to about 45 or so & once hit 70. Life was good!
The sudden interest that I had slowly began to fade away. People were visiting but not a single comments, not a single “like”. Man cannot live on bread alone, he needs his ego fed too. Im not someone with an iron will, I give up very easily so I did the best thing! I disappeared from the blogging scene. Infact I didnt even open my blog site for about 6 months.
The “Im Back” Phase
One day after 6 months or so I just logged into my account & I noticed that the last 6 months showed a steady stream of visitors, not much about 20 to 30 per month even though I hadn’t even logged in! Yeah that really amused me! So people do come here! I posted with gusto for the next 4 months & was happy with the response
The topics began fading, the mind stopped working. I kept getting flashes of brilliant ideas but when I sat to write them out I couldn’t go past the 1st two or three sentences. I realized that it was time to leave. It was time to give up once again and that’s something Im really good at!
The Daily Post Era
I came back somewhere around the february of this year. I logged into WordPress with a lotta difficulty coz I had forgotten my password, they sent me a temporary one which no one would remember even if they tried & was pleasantly surprised with the better, sleeker & a livelier interface. But for me the best part was the “The Daily Post” initiative along with the “Featured Post” & “Freshly Pressed” features. WordPress had finally become a “reading” site along with the “writing” site. I became a part of the daily post challenge & the results are here to see for everyone! I have readers visiting my site, commenting & also discussing the posts! A thousand readers a month is definitely a big improvement from 50…don’t you think so? :-D So 3 years with this site has definitely been a great ride so far & hopefully this time Im here to stay :-D
The “Wrong Number Moment”. Im not talking about the wrong number of the phone variety. This is the one about the mistaken identity. Here’s what happened to a friend of mine. He walks into a cyber café, sees a long row of guys sitting on the computers with their backs turned towards him. He notices one guy there who’s back of the head has a remarkable resemblance to a close friend of his & so goes & slaps him his hard on his head saying “Yo dude, what you doing here.” Unfortunately for him when the head turns its that of a complete stranger who himself looks totally confused & obviously in pain. The entire cyber café is looking at my friend who just feels like digging a hole & disappearing but cant find a shovel. He mumbles a few apologies & runs out leaving behind him a roar of laughter.
The “My Friends Suck Moment.” Everyone has friends who like to pull a fast one on their buddies. Our friends group is no different. Our group of 5 guys went for a movie. There’s this one guy among us, lets call him X, he’s a bit notorious & crazy. Once we were all seated in the theatre, he gets up & sits on another friend of mine & goes “keeku keeku”. Now that’s bloody embarrassing for the rest of us with the crowd looking at us. During the interval we decided to trick him. We went in early & moved one row behind from our place. Some others came & occupied our earlier seats. The lights went off. Mr X was late & made his way in the dark to the place we were sitting earlier. And as expected he sits on the guy there and goes “keeku keeku” We at the back are falling off our seats laughing. When he realized his mistake he made his way back to us sheepishly & vowed never to speak to us again.
Moment No. 3
The “Stud Moment”. This was narrated to me by a friend of mine. Guys always want to be the studs in when there are girls around. There was this guy, lets call him Mr X (not to be confused with the previous Mr X, You can call him Mr Y if you please) who walked everyday outside a girls college with sunglasses, jacket & what not. He would walk by with a swagger making sure that everyone around him noticed him & at the same time he checked out every girl. But then came that fateful day when Mr X (or Mr Y for some) was walking by with that same swagger, he slips & falls into a small puddle right in front of those very girls. Now girls being girls began giggling & stifling laughs & that poor guy was never to be seen again there.
Moment No. 4
The “Sleep Walking Moment.” This one happened to a friend of mine when I was there & undoubtedly caused my biggest laughing episode. As kids we had these various camps in the remotest of areas where hygiene & cleanliness was not in the forefront. It was to make us “TOUGH”. Army training tough. We were posted to have duties in shifts at night which was a part of our training programme. One night after my shift I woke up my friend to start his shift. The sleepy guy walked to the restroom(it was barely one with animal & human poop) all around. So he walks sleepily & suddenly realizes that there’s something right in front of him that he shud’nt be stepping on. So he jumps, slips & unfortunately lands on it!!! To this day we laugh remembering that moment!
Moment No. 5
The “That Was’nt Me Moment” This is one of the common, silly, gross for many and still one of the funniest moments for all. Its when you or someone in your group decides or without deciding releases some air just to gain some relief! It’s a an “EEEEEWWWWW….. moment” Some of you just reading this might call it “EEEwww gross”. But then it does happen. And if the person admits that “Yes that was me”… he get the “EEEwwww shameless” reaction & if he says it wasn’t him then he’ll get the “Guilty conscience, that’s why he’s denying….EEwwww” reaction.
The “Daily Post” Challenge for today is a good one & so I thought I would give it a try :-D
Ryan17 : Hi Im Ryan. Young, smart & talented. I think Im the best there was, the best there is & the best there will be! Who are you?
Ryan27 : Wow! Im Ryan too! And Im much smarter, more talented & wiser with age. And your right about the “best there will be” atleast sonny.
Ryan17 : Wiser with age is just a nice way of saying “Im old”. Ewwww your 27??? That’s like …old man! That’s like in the year 2011. I guess by then people will talk to each other online more than in person.
Ryan27 : Errr…. Your right about the online part actually. Oh and come on, 27 is not old! Im like the most eligible bachelor, you’re just a loser kid with an attitude problem.
Ryan17 : Who you calling loser, Im 17, I have all the time in the world ahead of me, unlike you. Chicks dig me
Ryan27 : Girls don’t “dig you”. They just find you cute, that’s all! Havent you heard that girls your age prefer guys my age?
Ryan17 : (angry) That’s true. They think being with old men like you makes them more matured & more in demand. Bah! That’s the only thing you have going for you so don’t be so happy about it. Don’t forget that I have 10 more years to do all the exploring I need.
Ryan27 : (Now angry) That’s true too. But I make money now. And girls love guys who can pay for them right? And what do you plan to do in those 10 years?
Ryan17 : Ok I don’t care about the girls, I have other things that make me better than you.
Ryan27 : Like what sonny?
Ryan17 : Like… I don’t use geeky words like “sonny”. I have so many things I still can do! So many adventures to see, so much to explore.
Ryan27 : I’ve done it all. Flying, skiing, snowboarding, girls, money…what else? Its not that big a thing. After sometime you get bored.
Ryan17 : I can become rich & successful. I know for sure that I can become the next Mark Zuckerberg when Im 27
Ryan27 : 1st of all Mark Zuckerberg was still dating his girlfriend when you’re 17 which makes the example redundant coz there is no Facebook yet for you! And even I made plans of being a millionaire when Im 27.
Ryan17 : Are You?
Ryan27 : Not even close.
Ryan17 : See you’re an even bigger loser than I thought. Im sure you didn’t have any planning, any goal, that’s why.
Ryan27 : I had all that. But then everyone cant be a Zuckerberg. There are other things which come in the way. Studies, work, responsibilities. Things that cant be fast forwarded. Luck only plays a small part in ones life & that too all are not blessed with good luck, there’s something called bad luck too!
Ryan17 : Now that’s a long boring lecture which only a 27 yr old could come up with.
Ryan27 : You might think that now but as you get older you’ll know better.
Ryan17 : Atleast I can run faster.
Ryan27 : I don’t need to, I have my car. I can also buy whatever I want.
Ryan17 : Yeah but you have a bigger waistline. I don’t have to sit in an office all day.
Ryan27 : Yeah but I don’t have to answer anyone.
Ryan17 : Yeah but you have to look after others, others look after me.
Ryan27 : I know to play golf.
Ryan17 : Yuck I don’t even wanna know how to play golf.Oh boy then am I lucky coz right now I have no responsibilities at all! No money problems or work problems. I can do whatever I want. But I do wanna grow up fast.
Ryan27 : That’s true. But then why you wanna grow up? Isnt it the best life? I wish I were a student again!
Ryan17 : Nah dude… There’s no freedom. I don’t have money of my own. Who wants to be stuck in this boring classroom. I wanna work. Explore. I wanna be the 27 yr old whom both the younger & older chicks wanna die to be with.
Ryan27 : Trust me boy, Ur much safer & happier in the classroom. Once you come out you’ll know the harsh reality of the world outside. Now you’re protected. Freedom is over rated. And yeah girls or rather chicks that you keep talking about. Those will happen when it has to happen. The more you catch a butterfly the more it runs away, but you sit still & it’ll come to you.
Ryan17 : Huh? Why are we talking about butterflies? Do people your age call chicks butterflies?
Ryan27 : Now that was a wasted example. Just forget the example & take the rest.
Ryan17 : Btw does Pamela Anderson still look as hot on the beach during your time.
Ryan27 : Not really, and now there are better ones too ;-)
Ryan17 : Arent we supposed to argue the other way round, are you supposed to support your age & me mine?
Ryan27 : That’s the problem sonny, there’s no argument at all! Coz Im wiser so trust me when I say that “The grass is always greener on the other side”
Disclaimer : All the views posted above are fictional & do not reflect the authors or anyone elses views. Any resemblance to reality is purely a co-incidence
User No. 1 -The perpetual status updater.
Ok we get it. You have lots on your mind. But that doesn’t mean that you have to let everyone know every damn lousy thought of yours EVERY HALF AN HOUR! “Im going shopping” – “Im so excited sitting in the car to go shopping”- “Listening to the radio in the car on the way to shopping” -“Im almost there, I can feel goosebumps” .SOMEBODY PLEASE THROW HER OUT OF THAT MOVING CAR!!!!! And also get me her phone when you’re at that. It doesn’t help the fact that there is that one guy who’ll be replying to each of those status msgs which is more probably even more annoying.
User No. 2 – The Drawing Room Farmer
Probably the most annoying one. Too lazy to get their asses of their couch to even stretch but ever the most hardworking farmer. Nobody would mind if they kept their farms to themselves. It’s the 130 notifications of “Feed my chicken, Wash my cow, build me a barn” that makes you wanna throw a goat at them which in all probability they would like & send you another wave of notifications asking for more. Go out into the sun & do some REAL gardening people!!!! And when you do, please spare us the updates.
User No. 3 – The FDA ( Facebook Display Of Affection)
“I love you honey bun, I love you too chilli cheese sandwich, you make my heart go Shalala boom boom”…. Somebody please hand me a gun so that I could go BOOM BOOM!! Yes everyone wants to show their love to someone on FTO( FB, Twitter, orkut) but not every hour & not on others news feeds. There are something called cellphones for that people!!! That small thing used to speak to people. Or mails, or Messages! What are you trying to achieve by showing your love on FB which in all probability is seen by everyone except your loved one!
User No. 4 – The Friender
Pardon the use of a non existent word but its that annoying person who “wants to be your friend”. You have no idea who or what he is but he insists that you could be his new best friend! And its not just the girls who are haunted by these creepy guys!!! Guys are stalked too! Ignoring them probably tells them that your interested in them. Till that fateful day when you report them.
User No. 5 – The join my page/group/cause
Somebody is just so bored that he decides to create a page/community/group of something that they like & thinks that its imperative that you like the same thing! And after a 100 mails asking you to join the group you’d probably start hating the ‘cause’ even if it’s a good one. Nobody wants to take the trouble of actually doing something for the cause, we just have to join to show our “support” . Two months later you visit the same group you’d find it abandoned filled with dubious links!
This is the “I broke up with my ex so its time for me to humiliate him/her on my wall” User. And then begins a barrage of hints, taunts, insults, jokes on that poor ex. Doesn’t matter whether the ex is good or bad, 200 people will convince this user that he/she was right in dumping him/her though they have no idea about whats going on. Yes this user is stupid & annoying but so are the ones who pretend to ”publicly” advice them when in reality they don’t care & are infact secretly enjoying the public washing of linen so to say. Why watch reel life soaps when you can get real ones ones on FB!